Fantasy Art

Sunday, August 27, 2017

Paint along with Gilead Step 5

Step 5: Be warned this could make your driveway look like…rocks. Also your arms, legs, shoes hair etc.

Looking back on all of the faux finishes I've done in my career and guesstimating the math I think I've painted about a square mile of this stuff. Not all of it was splatters like this, but sponging ragging, wood-graining etc.

Here’s a close-up of what I hope looks vaguely stone like. In the mural business this is called a “faux finish”. Faux is French for “fake” with a nuance of “more crap that Americans will pay good money for.”  The sort of circular shapes are droplets and puddles that dried around the edges but not in the middle.  When I wiped it with a rag it left a ring.

True story: I was once painted a faux finish for a lady, following her instructions to the letter as she hovered over me looking clearly dissatisfied. Finally after she'd changed the job a dozen times as I went along, I got a bit irritated and said “what is it you want?” She said “make it …more faux”. I stared at her a moment and said “Maux faux?” She gave me a blank look. So I said “faux means fake, so what are you asking for? fake what?” More blank look.
After a long and painful conversation it finally came out that she had only ever heard the word faux finish described to her on the phone and had never actually seen an example of it. She was just trying to bluff her way through the deal.
That story has nothing to do with anything.

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